It's All About the Pants
by sydni the sarcastic
Summary: reader insert. the title should say it all. i wish you luck :


"Keseseses. Now try to understand this–I the awesome Gilbert does not get seduced, and the female population still has yet to get in my pants!" One of your best friends shouted as you walked down the street. You and your friends Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert were headed to the weekly poker game at a mutual acquaintance's house, Mathias's, and this week you found out that the game was going to be a little different then usual. You were informed (five minutes before you left)that the game would be strip poker, and your friends wouldn't let you back out now.

"Is that so, mon ami. Are you sure about that?" Francis asked slyly in a tone that you knew he was planning something perverse.

"Of course, I hail from the great country of Prussia, and I am the one to get into girls pants, not the other way around!" he paused to think "But I have to say if any girl actually got into my pants I may have to keep them around. Keseseseseses" Gilbert finished with that hissing laugh of his, you honestly didn't know why you liked him but you did. He was loud, obscene, and utterly disgusting at times, but he was your friend even when you were new at school and everyone else thought you were weird, with your punk clothes and ever sarcastic tone.

**~flashback (cause what's a story without a flashback)~ **

"Hey you new girl" the head cheerleader, followed by her clones, at your new school shouted "Yea good. OK so here's the deal we've decided that you could fit in our group, you've got the looks, but you're going to have to change the clothes, hair, practically everything. Don't worry we can help you fit in if you do everything we say."the blonde informed you as she sauntered up.

"And what if I don't want to be another cookie-cutter, brainless bimbo like you? I mean I've been here for three days and I can even tell that there's nothing but air between those expensive earrings of yours."you state not caring in the slightest what people thought of you as you adopted a pose just as bitchy as hers. You thought you looked damn good in your red shredded skirt, band tee, vest and fedora, and you weren't about to change.

"Who do you think you are, you're just some small town girl form Cow Shit, New York that likes to look like some delinquent freak! Well I got something to tell you hun'that's not how things work in Cali, we have standards and with you acting and dressing like that will get you nowhere fast." Blondie practically screamed at you which attracted even more attention to your little showdown, you could tell she was not used to rejection and did not take it well.

"Well excuse~ me! I didn't know that along with leaving all my friends when my family made me move, I'd have to become a completely new person."you grind out through clenched teeth. "And at least in 'Cow Shit' as you like to call it we have manners and don't demand that people change. That's just wrong!"you had had enough you just wanted to go home and sleep...for the rest of you life sounded real nice.

"Back off Jenna and leave the girl alone, I agree with her, telling somebody that you've just met to change or they'll be the black sheep of society! That's just uncalled for, and ya know what I want to be her friend, she's cool, calm, collected, and knows how to respond to bullshit, otherwise know as friend material for the awesome me. Keseseseses" an albino boy, whose named you later learned was Gilbert called the girl named Jenna. Gilbert made his way through the crowd to stand next to you with an arm draped around your shoulders.

"Heh thanks, and see Jenna I guess im more likeable then you thought" you declared with an ever so triumphant smirk no plastered toy your face, noticing how she paled the moment Gilbert put his arm around you.

"B-b-but no you cant be friends with her, you're the most popular guy in school...and im th most popular girl. Y-your supposed to be my boyfriend and together rule over people like her!"Jenna stuttered horrified that Gilbert had chosen you over her, while you only tasted sweet victory.

**~end of le flashback~**

"Gil you shouldn't speak like that around _! She's a lady and doesn't need to hear your sexist rants." Antonio scolded and you were very grateful, because if Gil hadn't shut up soon you would have killed him and that would have ruined you plan. You plan was originally to confront Gilbert and tell him your feeling, and do this whole sappy speech, but his lewd rant had given you a great idea and it wasn't sappy at all much to your pleasure.

"Thanks Tonio, I cant listen to him anymore. And guys we better hurry to the game before Mathias thinks you raped me in an ally somewhere, because you know he'll want pictures."

**~time skip time (be happy...or else:D)~**

Two hours and a few beers later your plan was about to be enacted and you were so excited, now currently you had lost the last few rounds(on purpose because you had a poker face only to rival Lukas)and were in nothing but your cami and underwear. Now Gilbert absolutely sucked at poker so you knew you plan would work without any hitches.

"Awww damn" Gilbert screeches as he losses to none other then you.

"Haha that's what you get, now hand em' over hot shot" you tell him smugly as he hands over his one and only pair of pants leaving him in nothing but the baby chick boxers Antonio had gotten him for his birthday. You quickly snatch the pants and pull them on with a conquering shout earning several strange looks form the people in the room, most of them too drunk to really care.

"Let it be known to all the world that I _ have gotten into the 'awesome' Gilbert Beilschmidt's pants" you shout with a chuckle as recognition entered Gilbert's face as he remembered the conversation from earlier.

Just the Gilbert jumped up from his spot at the table to scoop you up bridal style all the while whispering "well looks like you've done it, now I guess ill just have to make you mine". Then he ran off deeper into the house to do who knows what, much to the confusion to everyone there except, of course a very perverted Frenchman and a cheery Spaniard.


End file.
